reenamia:

Sounds backwards, right? All you ever hear are girls complaining about all the assholes in the world; you’d think that once you finally find yourself a “nice” guy, he’d be a keeper. But a relationship with a truly kind man isn’t as great as you think.

Let’s say you got you recently got your heart broken by a previously mentioned “asshole.” He was probably sweet in the beginning and quick to sweep you off your feet with his sugar coated words. After a long while, you don’t know what happened. He started to stop caring; he stopped trying. And he wanted out. He crushed you without a second thought, without an ounce of sympathy for your fragile heart.

So then you’re heartbroken and vulnerable, and your days are spent sitting on your couch with boxes of chocolates and cartons of coffee ice cream. “Forget men. I’m independent,” you’ll say. You try out the whole single thing for a while, good for you. You continue going to high school, university, work, whatever like normal, and you become friendly with a boy you’ve never really taken the time to get to know before. It’s kind of nice. A refreshing friendship.

Then this boy that has never really stood out has easily found his way into your heart. Maybe not as the man of your dreams per se, but as an important friend. Your friendship with him is what has mended the pieces of your broken heart. You’ll go to him for vents and silly rants, go out to lunch together, have movie nights, be completely open and yourself around him. Who knows how long this best friendship period will last— a couple months at the least. You’ve become so close and comfortable with him, more so than any other person you’ve held in your life thus far. He’s your go-to guy, your best friend, your… 

Uh oh. It doesn’t matter who it is that realized it first, but one of you did. It’s love, dear. 

So the progression probably continues with an awkward confession, and it’s not long before the transition from best-friend to boy-friend occurs. 

It’s because that he’s your best friend that he already knows everything about you— your favorite meals (he’ll make them for you), your favorite movies to watch when you’re down (he’ll rent them when you’re grumpy during your time of month), even your biggest pet peeves (he’ll take advantage of this and take every chance to annoy you - to an extent). He’ll do everything that no guy has ever done for you before. He’ll remember your month-anniversaries, too. And he’ll do all these cute little things to surprise you. He’ll try so hard for you, really. You’ll be completely swept away for real this time, by genuine words, genuine actions, genuine feelings. He’s perfect when you compare him to any other.

You’ll experience more than just the romance part of the relationship though. Since he is in fact your best friend, you still share everything with each other. You have his trust, his love, his everything. This could possibly be the best romance you’ll ever experience.

You’ll be pampered and catered to like a little princess. It’s a great feeling, knowing that there’s someone who will always be there for you to pick you up when you fall, to forgive you even when you make the most idiotic mistakes, to do pretty much anything within their reach to make you happy. 

But after a while, you’ll begin take advantage of it. You might not mean it— you definitely would not do something like that deliberately; you promised that you’d never do anything to hurt the one most important to you— but it’ll happen. He has always been selfless when it came to you, so when he does something for himself for once, it’ll bother you. When he decides to be selfish, it’ll anger you. When he stands up for himself in an argument instead of letting you get your way, it’ll anger you even more. When he tells you to stop being such a brat about it, you’ll practically burst. 

He was always such a nice guy that when he does something that isn’t perfectly pleasing to you, it’ll seem like he’s done something terrible. But that’s just you taking his slight change in attitude and blowing it out of proportion. In reality, he’s still a nice guy. Too nice. He’ll put up with your awful attitude and disagreeable desires for a while longer. 

But things will go downhill. You realize that somewhere along the way you’ve lost him. And immediately after you come to this truth, he’ll put his foot down. No more mr. nice guy, right? And then it’ll be over, just like that.

He was too nice. 

He gave you everything you’d ever asked for in exchange for nothing. He shrouded his own feelings and paid attention to only yours. He replaced his own needs with your selfish desires. How long has this been going on for? Too long. When he’s out of your grasp, you’ll realize these things. You’ll realize how horrible of a person you’ve turned into, how you’ve somehow managed to take advantage of a person’s kindness to this extent, how you’ve gone months and months taking him for granted, never realizing how incredibly lucky you were to have had such a giving guy this whole time. All you ever did was take from him. And he sat there and endured this whole time— why?

It’s been so long since you’ve spoken to him, and even in his absence, he still lingers in your thoughts. All the time. You probably can’t get to sleep at night because you miss him so much. And even in your dreams, he still appears. It’s hard. You’ve dated plenty of guys before, but not one has had this much of a devastating effect on your mind and soul. Why him? Because he was a nice guy. You can’t even try to replace him because there’s no one even close to capable. Compared to him, everyone else is the asshole now.

His leave has left you tattered and broken, more so than you have ever thought you were before. Your heart has shattered, and what’s more, you don’t have your best friend to help you pick up the pieces. 

One day, after a long time, you’ll talk to him, thinking that you’ve healed or have gotten over him. You reminisce about your love. You gulp and gather the courage to ask him why. Why did he put up with you for so long, why was he so gracious, why— why?

And his answer will be the kicker, the phrase that will tear you apart all over again.

“Because I loved you.”

Don’t date a nice guy. He’ll most likely be too nice for his own good. You’ll realize that, for once, the one that deserves better isn’t you— but him. Guys aren’t always the asshole, you know. And after dating a nice guy, you’ll learn that. Because the one that did the heartbreaking this time was you. The one that took the other for granted was you. The one that was unreasonable the whole time was you. You’ll be left with nothing but guilt and regret in the end. Don’t date a nice guy because you’ll fall in love. There’s everything to lose.

damn…. first long post I’ve read in awhile.